Dinner dates are probably the number one choice for singles, but do you know where to go, what to do, and how to make the date a successful one? Having a meal with someone you do not know well can be stressful. There are ways to calm your nerves before you ever walk out the door. Consider the following:

* Go to your favorite restaurant.

If you go to a restaurant that is familiar to you, it will make you feel confident and comfortable to be in a place where you know the drill. Where to park, which door to enter, what's on the menu, familiar settings, and people who know your name all come together to calm you down and help you focus on your date. Being recognized also adds to your appeal. If you don't have a restaurant, club, pub, coffee shop, sandwich shop, or ice cream parlor that is your "spot", now is the time to get one.

* Find out what kind of food your date likes.

It's important to know what your date can eat and not eat. Food aversions, allergies, and trying new foods never eaten before can be too stressful when you are getting to know someone. Discovering ethnic food not tried before can be an adventure, but make sure your date is up for it.

* Ask questions and listen.

Research has determined that men talk about themselves more than women do. Being shy also affects how much people communicate. Pay attention to what your date says, make frequent eye contact, and after they finish telling you something, paraphrase what they said so they know you were listening. This is an important tool of communication that will draw your date closer to you. Nothing is more appealing than being truly heard by another.

* Have an attitude of lightness.

This is probably the most difficult attitude to adopt if you don't feel relaxed and lighthearted. Here are some hints to get you in a sunny state of mind:

1. Watch something funny on TV or tape some shows to watch just for this purpose. Sit down and watch them right before you go out on your date.

2. Remember some funny stories from your childhood. You can also tell one of these stories on your date. When you talk about or think about something that is amusing, your face lights up and you become even more attractive.

3. Plan what to wear beforehand and have it ready so you aren't stressed about wardrobe decisions. Be sure and try it on a week before you go out to make sure it doesn't have any spots on it or to see if it still fits. (Some of us have been know to gain pounds overnight.)

4. Think about what to order on the menu. Spaghetti dishes with heavy sauces can splatter and stain. Spinach, lettuce, and field greens definitely stick to your teeth. And ordering a big rich dessert can be a turn off to someone who watches their weight carefully.

Dining out can be an appropriate place to get to know someone. Just make sure the restaurant is quiet enough for conversation, choose something unsticky to eat, and then relax and enjoy yourself.

Tonja Weimer

Tonja Evetts Weimer is a Master Certified singles relationship and life coach, speaker, syndicated columnist and author.

Tonja is a full time professional coach with a practice in Greenville, SC. She helps individuals, especially singles, re-craft their lives and find happiness and success in their career and relationships. Some of Tonja's professional activities include:

==> Syndicated singles relationship columnist, writing SAVVY DATING, a weekly column read by over a million readers in many U.S newspapers. Tonja's column addresses relationship and life issues of interest to all adults, but particularly to the over 110 million singles in the U.S. Tonja has also had articles published in New Woman, Hope, and House Beautiful magazines, and has won 3 Matrix Awards for her writing.

==> Motivational speaker, Tonja has been a keynote presenter at national and international conferences over the last 30 years.

==> Author of materials for educators and parents (7 books, six music albums and 2 videos), which have won 22 awards.

Some Speaking and Media Highlights:

==> Keynote speaker for 2004 Women?s Issues Network Conference, Sumter, SC.

==> Keynote speaker for 2002 Parents as Teachers International Conference, St. Louis, MO.

==> Keynote speaker for 1999 International Conference for Children & Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder.

==> Keynote speaker for 1998 European Education Conference, in Mannheim, Germany.

==> Keynote speaker in 35 U.S. states at educational conferences.

==> Presenter at the International Special Olympics in Notre Dame, at the request of Eunice Kennedy Shriver.

==> Created Space Songs for Children, at the request of NASA (album taken into space by astronauts three times.)

==> Appeared on CNN?s Showbiz Today and many other TV shows.

Educational and Professional Qualifications:

==> National Fellow (U.S. Dept. of Education.) M.A. in Human Development and Education, with an emphasis on creativity.

==> Master Certified Singles Relationship Coach, Relationship Coaching Institute.

==> Personal Life Coach, Graduate, Institute for Life Coach Training.

==> Member, International Coaching Federation